Rain is a'comin'...

Just in time to mess up the drive home too. Fun.

In the last week I've gotten so many messages and emails letting me know that people have "been there" and assuranceses that everything is gonna be alright... I just wanted to say a blanket Thank You... Thank you for your prayers, thank you for your advise, thank you for sharing your own stories. It has helped more than you can imagine.

As I've mentioned before I that I have this thing about my own happiness. And really I have no reason to think this way as truly I have lead a blessed and uncomplicated life... but when it comes to certain things, mostly the stuff I really yearned for (partner in life, my own family etc) I have a hard time accepting that not only would they'd happen for me, but that they aren't going to be taken away instantly or that some how I don't deserve them, or that I'm not supposed to have them.

Like I said, I don't know why. I've never experienced any profound loss... yeah the usual ups and downs in a family but no huge tragedy, nor any other event that would make sense... so yeah. Wierd I know, but yeah

Job or money issues, I don't sweat 'cause it'll work out... always has for me. But personal... I'll collapse like a house of cards over the mere fantasical thought... no good. But maybe all of this is a crash course to sucking it up and moving forward no matter what is thrown at you.

So JP should be arriving in LA in the next hour or so. the worst part of his trip over, 18 hours from Sinapore via Tokyo. Yeah they put him on the route that would save the company $3k... jerks. Unless the weather takes a really bad turn he should be back in Houston by 10 tonight. I'll be asleep when he makes it to the house, but if he can wake me up I won't mind very much today.

Oh and when I said I'm not sure about JP in the room with me tomorrow, it's because he's more of a ninny about needles and medical stuff than I am. Seriously, the THOUGHT of a tongue depressor is enough to turn him green. I was amazed he could give me that final shot in the butt. He probably thought of the cost of all those drugs and being Scottish wasn't about to waste it.

Heading home shortly, gonna be a long drive as it's getting dark out my way.