O.M.G....

JP is typically a happy go lucky kind of guy. In his world he treats everyone the same and everyone likes everyone and we're all happy friends.

Then he came to realize there was this "Inner Circle" as he calls it... or as I've referred to 'em The Usual Suspects. Since I'm a girl I'm used to these kinds of groupings. Sadly it's what we do, not to be exclusive typically. You just have more in common with a certain combo of people as so they're the ones you do stuff with the most.

There was a shift a couple of years ago as more people came on expaite deals and their orginal circle was back together. You'll never fully belong 'cause you just don't share their history and sadly some people don't want to include anyone else. Very insular way of thinking but hey do big deal as far as I'm concerned.

JP and I came to an understanding that he would no longer try to foist a deeper friendship on me with certain people... well really most of them as they're a package deal. If I'm available I join in, if I'm not I don't. I don't go out of my way and I do not include them in my own inner circle of the theater (I love it too much to muck up a night with difficult relationships if I genuinally think you are fun person I like I'll invite you to a show otherwise you'll never know how often I really go.)

Well... I think last night was the straw that broke JP's back. He claims he doesn't and didn't care... but obviously he did. I think he hoped he was getting into that circle.

Last night was the ringleaders birthday party at some restaurant/bar... JP got a backhanded last minute invite... these are the same people we're spending Christmas with. Oh what joy what bliss to celebrate such a wonderous day with such warm and loving people.

JP was ranting, as much as he can, about how he's just so over this and this particular person is just horrible and while maybe he can be a pain in the arse that to treat me that was was crazy (according to JP I'm a saint and no one could ever not like me... gotta love a hubby like that. HA!)

Anyhoo... his feelings were obviously hurt which hurt me. I'm used to girls feeling the need to exclude me. It's happened to me my whole life. That's why I would never treat someone like that, unless they've verbally attacked me like some of the office wenches I've had to deal with... then I'll freeze you out.

I didn't know what to tell him... I just told him to keep treating people the way he always does and let the cards fall where they may. That way at least he'd have no guilt about miss treating anyone.

Oy vey! Why don't people mature past 12 years old? Obviously there are those who do, but man so many don't or revert when in that herd mentality.

I wonder since JP was never the geeky/nerdy type of kid he never experienced exclusion by a peer group before. Wow, I can't imagine... must have been nice but finally getting it thrown in your face at the age of 41 would be very very disturbing.

Basically all you can do is cherish the people who are open and kind and ignore the rest as best you can without sinking to their level.

On a much more fun note... I put together a play list of songs for New Years... I sunk in a bunch of Duran Duran just for JP. hehehehehe! Nothing crazy. Stuff like Ordinary World which everyone likes... The Reflex is on but super early which will probably be before people arrive.

heh.